An annoyingly familiar student asked me what I was working on.
I said, "An essay on koh-LEHR-uh."
The student's face transformed into the arrogant face of a know-it-all, and he proceeded to remind me that he was a pre-med student, and that the proper pronunciation was "COLLAR-uh." Without a pause, the pre-med student then proceeded to bombard me for the next five minutes about whatever field it was that he specialized in. I believe it was gastro something or the other, and he prattled on about enzymes and tissue, or something like that. He was using fifteen-letter words only he knew, and his demeanor was more than a tad condescending.
I politely listened as I realized precious time was slipping by. After all, my cholera essay wasn't writing itself, no matter the proper pronunciation of the word.
While he rambled, I contemplated.
Finally he paused for a breath. That is when I jumped in.
"How sesquipedalian of you! You know, I used to consider myself to be a lexicographic prestidigitator, until I realized that I sounded like I was trying to be a wordy magician. Now I consider myself to be a prestidigitative lexicographer!"
His face transformed again. Only this time it looked like he was gasping a bit, and there was a glint of confusion in his rapidly blinking, watery eyes. It was priceless!
I heard a stifled laugh from a person behind him. Later I learned that she was an English major. That made sense.
I managed to finish my "COLLAR-uh" paper on time, no thanks to Mr. Pre-med! I suppose I should thank him though. In the end, it turns out that I will never mispronounce cholera again, and I have a quick story, should the need arise.
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Stephen L. Wilson
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